Pretend you are a recovering alcoholic who falls off the wagon while attending your high school reunion. Start your story with “I hadn’t had a drink in nearly 10 years” and end it with “If only I could remember where I left my pants.
“I hadn’t had a drink in nearly 10 years.” I said to the waitress who was serving me a celebratory beer; just the one mind. “Here’s to many more years of sobriety.” Bottles were chinked and as I finished my first drink I remembered the rush from booze. I saw my cohorts drinking around me, old school friends, teachers and that young nurse from my senior year who hadn’t aged half bad. Looking at my solemn one beer I considered another.
“Can I get you anything love?” said this busty waitress whose breasts had kept my eye contact directly at her face. Of course I’d had a glance from across the room, but now avoiding even the concept that she was a women was key. “Actually, I think I might.” I said. She pulled out a small notepad and got ready to scribble down my order. Proceeding to get my wallet out, my cherished keepsake fell to the floor. I red token with the number 10 engraved on it fell to the floor. As I reached for it I saw the young busty waitress still waiting to take my order, “Just a coke actually.”
‘No problem.” She said, and off she went. Perhaps I would stay on the wagon on this occasion, that while that first beer was a mistake, a recovering alcoholic need not fall completely at the first hurdle. My coke arrived and I drank quietly to myself and watched as my old friends mingled with one another.
A young looking chap sat next to me now as I finished my drink. “I know you don’t I?” He said. I smiled at him and nodded, “Well we we’re in the same year at school.” I think pointed all around to the obvious group of people we were socialising with tonight. The banner above our heads even said CLASS OF 1980. So that was something. “No, I mean, we had math back in the day. I’m not drunk by the way, I’m David.” David told me all about how he was on a sobriety program as well, and about how he had slowly moved off the booze and tonight, like myself had had his first drink or two.
This discussion went on for some time, until eventually the crowd started to thin out and I noticed that David had grown more and more tired looking and dishevelled as the night went on. Had his cokes that had arrived at the table had something a little extra in them perhaps. Yet before I had the chance to ask he stood up from the table and wished me a goodnight and that’s when I noticed something extremely strange. “David, your…” And he cut me off.
“Goodnight ol’ friend. Now off I go. If only I could remember where I left my pants.”